Why do you update so irregularly?
Erik: Well, we're both wheelchair-bound and like to think about space, so that affects our productivity. Do I wish we were physically able to pound out a brilliant update and win a LAN party and be a stuntman and drive a Ferrari day after goddamn day like your Dennis "Thresh" Fong? Sure. But unfortunately it's a freakin' thirty-minute trial for us just to inch our way from the kitchen to the den.
Chet: Satisfied?

Do you get sent free games?
Erik: No.
Chet: Unless there's a game on those disks AOL sends you. In which case, yes, we get about four a day.

What's the best email you've received from someone looking at your site?
Chet: Sometimes people send us mail saying, "You're awesome!" or something along those lines.
Erik: Those are good.

The Mushroom's Kevin Weiser says, "I guess the best [email] I've gotten is some guy asking for naked pictures of one of our writers." - have you had this happen?
Chet: Nothing that crazy-with-a-capital-K crazy ever happened to us. I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that somebody wants to see us naked, but a game developer called Levelord sends us naked pictures of himself. A lot.

What do you do when you're not working?
Erik: I'm usually shopping for a jet ski or lifting weights.
Chet: I am either spotting while Erik lifts weights or lifting weights.

Describe your ideal game.
Erik: I've answered this question several times on the site. Here's a quote describing the gameplay: "Running around with my giant erect penis held taut and vertical to the side of my neck by a piece of wire in such a way that, when I overtake the tiny woman I'm chasing, I can spring it like a mousetrap so that it comes crashing down on her with a loud THWACK, breaking her back and trapping her beneath it while I stand there, arms akimbo, and scan the horizon for more tiny women."
Chet: I'd like to see something like Pole Position, but on a much bigger screen.

Erik, this "ideal game" - what would you call it?
Erik: Double Dracula.

Have you ever used your Internet notoriety to obtain sexual favours?
Erik: No. Jesus, what kind of question is that?
Chet: Way to spell "favor" there, Lord Byron.

What's your favourite book?
Chet: I like the printouts of Something Awful Erik gives me.
Erik: You think you can work your fancy spelling of "favor" into a few more questions?

What's your browser start page set to?
Erik: www.jetski.com
Chet: www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com

Please state, in 15 words or less (per site), your opinion on each of the following sites:
Something Awful: Better than The Mushroom.
UK Resistance: Better than The Mushroom.
Penny Arcade: Better than The Mushroom.
The Mushroom: I'd rather read a note from my doctor that says, "you have mouth cancer."
FatBabies: Better than The Mushroom.

Which gaming figure do you most hate?
Chet: The boss monster of the Wolfenstein games, Adolf Hitler.
Erik: Dennis "Thresh" Fong.
Chet: I want to change my answer to Dennis "Thresh" Fong.